


Just Go

by oreob1tch



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged up characters, Alternate Universe - College/University, Kind of Soulmate AU, Love Triangle, M/M, Noren are best friends, Other characters and ships mentioned, Rated M for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 14:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15974342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oreob1tch/pseuds/oreob1tch
Summary: Be more honest with yourselfHe’s still in your heartIt’s not you to be so cautiousMy heart doesn’t feel like my ownAlternatively - Having feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same sucks, especially if that someone is your best friend's boyfriend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was super nervous to post this, to write this, to even think about this. I love norenmin and wanted to write this as an innocent threeway-relationship kind of fanfic but RenMin won my heart.  
> Please, if you like this or if you have anything you want to say, leave a comment, it means a lot

Renjun doesn't believe in soulmates. There's nothing like soulmates, that's something that exists only in book, bad movies and even worse fanfictions. There's no way one's soul can be connected to someone else's. There's no way that two bodies share one soul. People are whole as they are and they don't need anyone else to complete them. That's how he sees it and there's nothing that can change his mind.

Which is obviously the complete opposite of what his best friend thinks. And Renjun loves Jeno, he really, really does, but that boy can be so naive and well, almost stupid at times.

"I'm telling you, Injun," Jeno smiles dreamily, locking his phone and placing it on the table. They're in the university library and Renjun wants to concentrate on his homework. Jeno has other plans.  
"He's my soulmate."

"You don't know him," the older boy snorts. "You literally met him three days ago. On _Tinder._ He could be a fifty years old perv looking for some fresh meat."

Jeno pouts and Renjun almost feels bad. He knows that the younger one hasn't had the best luck when it comes to relationships and he should be happy that he found someone that is interesting for him and who he likes. And Renjun is happy for him, in his own way. But he's also worried because he knows that Jeno is too nice for his own good. Whoever this guy is, he better treat Jeno the way he deserves.

He looks out of the window while Jeno keeps sighing and almost salivating all over his phone. The weather is getting colder and it's annoying because it means spending his precious money on a proper winter jacket because he lost the one he bought last year.  
Or maybe he didn't lose it but he feels like Chenle borrowed it, which is essentially the same as losing it. Either way he doesn't have a proper winter jacket so he'll have to spend more time at work to be even able to afford it. He's a broke college student after all.

"So, when are you meeting this mysterious guy?" he looks back at Jeno who has the widest grin on his face. Renjun rolls his eyes.

"What?"

"You're interested? In my love life?"

"Shut up, I'm just trying not be an asshole." Jeno laughs, loud and clear and the librarian glares at them. Jeno obviously forgot where they are. They both shut up after that and Renjun finally gets to do his homework. He hates history, just bunch of bullcrap that he needs to remember that he probably won't ever use. Sighing, he takes out yet another highlighter and starts highlighting the important parts from his textbook - basically everything.

"We're going out next week, by the way,"Jeno says quietly while staring at his math homework. "He asked me out on a date few minutes ago."

"That's cool,Jen," the older one murmurs and shuts the book close. "I'm heading home. Are you coming with me?"

Jeno nods.

 -------

Living with his best friend is one of the best things that could have happened to Renjun. Most of the time he's really greatful that Jeno offered him to live in his appartment. Today is not that day though. He can hear Jeno giggling through the thin wall seperating their rooms and he's getting annoyed. Stupid Jeno with his stupid crush on a guy he hasn't even seen in real life yet.  
He doesn't want to sound bitter just because he is single and no one wants him, he's not bitter anyway. He's just annoyed. Not because he's single. But because he doesn't want Jeno to be disappointed. That's it and that's the truth. People can actually care for others and not hide something else behind it. Renjun is actually glad he's single. His last relationship lasted only few months before they both realized that they should stay friends and he's happily single ever since.

Renjun reaches for his earbuds and decides to listen to some songs to help him fall asleep. Jeno's giggling is still stuck in his head when he's finally drifting off and he falls asleep with a frown.

**

Renjun flinches as Chenle jumps on him to hug him. "It's been sooooo long Renjuuuun." he squeals and the older tries to shake him off. Chenle hugs him a bit tighter. "You're not going anywhere."

"Let him go, Lele." Jisung laughs, dragging the whining smaller boy away from Renjun who smiles at him thankfully.

"Where  are you heading?"

"A guy from my dance class is having a party tonight,"Jisung explains. "I was invited and Chenle invited himself as usual."

"You want me there." the said boy frowns and then pinches Jisung's cheeks. "And I want to be there with you."

Renjun rolls his eyes at them but smiles softly. Both of them are like his younger brothers to him. Even though he sometimes he feels more like their babysitter. Especially when-

"Don't you wanna go with us, Injun?"

-they want him to go to parties with them.

"First off, don't call me Injun. And no, I really don't. I have an assignment that I need to finish tonight. Have fun though." he smiles at them and pats them on the top of their heads - which is a bit difficult since Jisung is taller than him, but he manages - and turns around to leave.

"Jeno will be there too." Chenle blurts out all of a sudden and Renjun looks at him over his shoulder.

"Why should I care?"

"I don't know, because you're in love with him?" Chenle grins and Renjun sighs. Not this again.

"I am not in love with Jeno. He's my friend. I'm not into guys. Goodbye."

But the words don't leave his mind even on his way home. He is not in love with Jeno and he'd like to know why people tend to think they're either dating or that Renjun loves the younger one.  
So what if they spend basically all of their free time together? So what if they live together and take care of one another when needed? They're friends. Friends do that. It's not gay. It's not romantic. It's just a friendship.

He rubs his temples before fishing out the keys to their appartment. As soon as he opens the door, he's met with shirtless Jeno doing push ups in the kitchen. Renjun coughs and Jeno looks up, stopping in what he's doing and stands up to hug Renjun. "Welcome home."

"It's the crap like this that makes people think we're dating," the older rolls his eyes and pats Jeno on the back, regretting immediately. "Take a shower, you're gross, all sweaty."

"Because I just worked out, genius. You should try it too some day. It's great." Jeno laughs and slaps Renjun's butt as he walks past him to the bathroom. Renjun rubs his temples some more. It's all Jeno's fault that people think they're a couple. Thinking about it like this, he actually can't wait for Jeno to start dating that Tinder guy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can talk to me Here (it's on private but I do accept follow requests ) (if the link doesn't work,just ask for my @ i guess )


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here I am with another chapter. I'm still not sure if this is going to be a slow burn kind of thing or not, so bear with me??  
> please, leave any kind of feedback, it's really important for me to know what you guys think

Renjun closes his eyes as he felt the wind hit his face. He is freezing, hands buried deep in the pockets of his hoodie. He can feel his thighs burning from the cold and he curses under his breath, mad at himself for not wearing more appropriate clothes.

His fingers can barely grasp the key as he tries to unlock the door to his appartment. He stumbles inside, kicking off his shoes and moving his toes to warm them up a little. His socks are soaked wet and he can't wait to change into dry warm clothes and be a lazy little shit, watching TV.

However, it seems like fate had other plans since he's not home alone as he was supposed to. As soon as he steps into the living room through which he wanted to walk into his room, he stops in his tracks. On the couch, there are two people. Jeno, grinning from ear to ear, smile so wide Renjun is afraid it could split his head in half, and another human that Renjun has never seen before.

They both look at him and all three of them are just staring for a good minute, without a word, in a complete silence. It slowly dawns on Renjun who that other boy is. It's Thursday, the day of Jeno's long awaited date with Jaemin. With the Tinder guy, the soulmate.   
He forces himself to smile and greet them both. He's gotta admit that Jaemin looks different than from what he imagined. He's certainly no fifty year old creep and actually looks kind of cute. Renjun has this weird urge to say _'hey, I like your face'_ but he doesn't because that would be too weird.  
Jaemin smiles back at him, his eyes forming into two small crescent moons and Renjun can hear Jeno sigh dreamily while looking at him. He's a goner already, Renjun can tell, and his heart clenches uncomfortably.   
He's so used to spending time with Jeno that he can't imagine not being with him. But he's obviously not going to stand in their way.

As soon as Jaemin introduces himself, the eldest of the three excuses himself and leaves to his room. He changes into dry warm clothes just like he wanted to and then texts Donghyuck, his friend that goes to a different university, if he wants to hang out. They haven't seen each other since the semester started and he actually really wants to spend some time with him. To get used to spending time with other people beside Jeno? Certainly. Not that he would ever admit that to himself.   
Donghyuck, luckily, is as excited to see Renjun as he is to see him and invites him over to his house. Renjun hasn't been there yet since the younger moved into the new house only few weeks ago. He was actually invited for a house party but he refused because that night was his and Jeno's weekly movie night. Thinking about it now, he was stupid to ditch his other friends like that. He really should stop getting so attached to others.

He puts his phone and a wallet into the pockets of his jacket and quickly walks through the living room to the front door only to bump into Jeno saying goodbye to Jaemin.

"Oh, you're leaving already?" He asks and mentally slaps himself for asking, what the hell?

"Yeah...I don't want to bother you guys for too long," Jaemin giggles and the sound makes Renjun smile too.

"Well you're certainly not bothering _us,_ because I'm leaving," the eldest of the three explains and bends down to put on his shoes. He can feel his phone slipping out of his pocket and he doesn't react fast enough to catch it before it falls out, mentally preparing to see his phone screen shattered. But the phone doesn't even reach the floor because Jaemin is quick enough to bend down and catch it for him.

' _That's it,'_ Renjun thinks, _'he's an angel.'_

He thanks him and takes his phone out of the younger boy's hand. Before he can leave, Jeno grabs his arm. "Where are you going? I thought tonight was our movie night, as usual."

"Have a movie night with Jaemin, I also have other friends." He doesn't realize how harsh it sounded until Jeno winces and then he just opens the door and leaves, feeling ashamed. He didn't mean to say it like this, it was mean and he loves Jeno to pieces and this was just really uncalled for.   
He will apologize when he comes back tomorrow, that's for sure.   
Plus he just really didn't want to thirdweel. He's sure Jaemin stayed after what happened and god knows what will happen in the next minutes.

They met on Tinder, after all.

***

Renjun has never seen Donghyuck light up the way he does when he sees him. He pulls him in a hug and then into the house.  
He makes him coffee and they order pizza, playing games while waiting for the food. Donghyuck cuddles into his side when they eat, his head against Renjun's shoulder. He's warm and Renjun likes it. They cuddle some more after they're finished eating, the TV on as a background noise. They talk, quiet as if they're telling each other secrets when in reality they're just saying what they've been up to.

Renjun doesn't mention Jeno and his boyfriend, doesn't even want to think about it. He doesn't know the guy but he can already tell that he means a lot for Jeno and that upsets him. Because he's stealing his best friend. He will choose his boyfriend over him and Renjun understands that, he just doesn't like it.

He falls asleep on Donghyuck's couch and wakes up in his bed. The younger boy is pressed against him, mouth slightly open and Renjun smiles as he gets out of the bed. Putting his shoes on, he silently leaves the house and walks home. Somehow it feels like a walk of shame even though he didn't sleep with him. They're not like that. Renjun can't really describe what their friendship really is but it's definitely not like _that._

Renjun keeps telling everyone that he's not into boys because in reality, he doesn't even know what or who is he into. He doesn't care. No relationship lasts forever, there are no soulmates and preferences don't matter, he'll end up alone anyway. Everyone does, in the end.

His and Jeno's appartment is quiet when he enters and his heart sinks when he steps into the living room only to find Jeno sleeping on the couch, two bowls of popcorn on the table, waiting. Just as Jeno himself was. The TV is off but he's sure Jeno picked a movie and waited for Renjun to come home.  
His chest tightens. It's stupid. He told him he wasn't going to be home for their movie night.  
But he still feels like a traitor.

Sighing, he rubs his face and goes into his room to get some more sleep before he has to get up for his Friday classes.

Just as he closes the door to his bedroom, the bathroom door opens and Jaemin steps out, looking around before sneaking out of the appartment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello and bonjour. I am back with another chapter, yay. Now, this isn't what I initially planned for this chapter but it still turned out pretty decent I think. Please let me know what you think down in the comments, it means so much to me. Also huge thanks to all of you reading this,commenting and liking this, it really means a lot ♥

Jeno wakes up to the smell of food cooking - not burning, he might add - and his eyes shoot open. He sits up, confused, not knowing where he is or what's going on but the food smells nice and if there's something that Jeno loves more than sleeping, it's food. He smiles sheepishly when he realizes that Jaemin claims to be a good cook and his chrst clenches because...is he cooking for him?

But as he stands up and turns over to the small kitchenette, his heart sinks. It's not Jaemin, it's Renjun.

And he immediately feels bad for being disappointed because he loves Renjun and the fact that Renjun woke up and took the time to cook for him is amazing.

 "I thought you were out."

 Renjun turns around, startled. "Oh, you're awake. Hi."

Jeno nods at him in greeting and leans against the breakfast bar. 

"I got home few hours ago. I felt bad for leaving and missing our movie night."

Jeno wants to speak up and say that it's okay,that he wasn't alone, but Renjun continues before he has the chance to say anything. "Especially after finding you this morning asleep on the couch, waiting for me."

 And Jeno's heart sinks some more because Renjun feels guilty for not being with him last night when he actually didn't even think of him while Jaemin was there. He's a crappy friend indeed. 

"It's okay, Injunnie," he smiles at the older boy. "I still love you." Renjun rolls his eyes at him, finishing the food before putting it in front of Jeno. He thanks him and starts eating. 

"Where were you anyway?"

 "I went to see Donghyuck," Renjun replies, cleaning out the sink so he can wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen. "He moved into a new house. Real nice, gotta admit."

 "How come I never met this Donghyuck? You just don't want me to meet the guy you're cheating on me with,am I right?" Jeno mumbles with his mouth full and the older boy cringes. Gross.

 "Aren't you supposed to be at school?" 

Renjun shakes his head. "Class cancelled. And I only have English on Friday so I'm free today. What are your plans for today?"

 Jeno has no classes on Friday so Renjun hoped that they could spend the day together to make up for the previous day. The younger one shrugs. "I might text Jaemin and meet up with him. I didn't even say goodbye when he left this morning."

 Renjun freezes, the plate slipping out of his hand back into the sink. The loud noise startles Jeno. "Injun?"

 "He left this morning? So you weren't waiting for me, yet you let me believe that? Do you know how guilty I felt?!"

 Jeno winces, mentally slapping myself. "I'm sorry Jun. But you were so nice and I-"

 "Fuck you, Lee." The Chinese boy turns off the water,not even bothering with washing the rest of the dishes, drying his hands quickly before leaving the kitchenette and walking quickly over to his room. Jeno feels stupid. He should have told Renjun right from the start that Jaemin stayed over. He even was excited to tell him what happened last night. He's dumb.

 

As soon as the door closes, Renjun lets out a sigh. He overreacted but he feels so hurt and betrayed. This is what he was so afraid of - once Jeno finds himself a partner, he'll abandon Renjun, he won't need him anymore.

He should be happy for them, he should be supportive and accepting. He's not. He's so scared he'll end up all alone,with no friends because all of them are trying to get into relationship in one way or another and he's just this loser who sees no purpose in such thing as dating. He'll end up alone. Lonely.

 ***

"You and Jeno should come over this tonight, we're having a party," Chenle informs him and Jisung hums, nodding his head. Renjun shrugs, not really feeling like hanging out with anyone,yet alone going to a party.

 "Jeno can't come over anyway, he's with his boyfriend." he says after a while. "And even if they both go, I won't. I'm not feeling my best. And I also have some homework to do."

 Jisung frowns at him, pursing his lips. "You're just jealous that Jeno got himself someone and you didn't."

Chenle looks at him, alarmed and then smack his shoulder. "What the fuck, Jisung?"

 "I heard enough," Renjun stands up, leaving the rest of his food on the table. He was really looking forward to getting pizza with his two younger friends but now he feels sad and has this weird bitter taste in his mouth. "I'm going home and I'm staying home. Bye."

 As soon as he's out, Chenle runs after him, hopping on his back to stop him. "Wait, Jun!"

 The older turns around, basically shaking off the younger boy. "What? Want to tell me what a loser I am for being single?"

 "No, I actually want to aplogize. I know it's none of our business and if you're content being single that's all that should matter to us." Renjun smiles, feeling little bit less sad and quickly hugs Chenle before stepping away. Chenle beams because he's not used to any kind of skinship with his older friend and then runs back into the restaurant to eat the rest of his pizza.

Renjun chuckles, zipping up his jacket and starts walking home. The weather is nice that day, the sun is shining but it's not warm, it's actually super cold but the sun makes it all better. He's enjoying the subtle warmth of the sunshine on his face when someone grabs his forearm and yanks him back.  Renjun frowns, turning around, ready to yell at whoever grabbed him like this but words freeze in his throat when he sees Jaemin.

 "What the fuck?!"

 "You almost got hit by a car, I should be the one asking what the fuck!" Jaemin says just as upset. "Are you okay?" His tone suddenly changes from mad to soft and he starts turning Renjun around checking if everything's fine.

 "I'm good," the older one says without any emotions in his voice and steps away from Jaemin. "Thanks."

 "No problem," the other boys smiles at him, his grin wide and almost cute. "I'm heading over to Jeno's, maybe we can walk together?" he suggests, hopeful. "And you can tell me more about yourself. I didn't really get a chance to talk to you the other day."

 "You would if you stayed for breakfast," Renjun spits out without even thinking. "Plus you don't have to know anything about me, you're dating Jeno, not me."  
With that, he crosses the street and walks away, changing his plans and heading to the nearest coffee shop. He needs to get some caffeine into his system, maybe he'll stop being such a petty bitch afterwards.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what this is, I guess I was feeling a bit angsty.  
> please leave a comment/kudos if you like the story :)

With a warm cup of coffee in hand, Renjun leans against the wall, fishing his phone out of his pocket. He checks the time and sighs. He's done basically nothing all day, being grumpy the only thing he managed. He hopes that Jaemin and Jeno are not in the apparentment anymore, because he wants to go home and watch the TV. He texts Chenle, asks him if they invited the two over for the party and Chenle replies with a photo of all four of them, grinning. Jeno's smile looks fake as hell though, Renjun has known him for long enough to be able to tell.

Jaemin's smile, on the other hand, is too bright, too wide, yet still looks completely natural and right on him. His eyes are half closed, adorable eye smiles.  
 Renjun shakes his head, such stupid thoughts. He doesn't want to think about them, not now, not when he finally has the opportunity to go home and be alone for once, not when he finally has time for himself, to think, to sort stuff out.

So he does, he goes home and takes a nice, long and relaxing shower, the hot water calming his mind. Then he cleans up the kitchen that is an absolute mess, makes himself a cup of hot chocolate and finally sits down to watch some Netflix.  
This feels nice, he decides while sipping on his beverage. He feels nice. It's okay to spend time alone. It's okay to be alone. Alone doesn't equal lonely.

After finishing his chocolate, he quickly washes the cup and grabs his phone. He thinks about texting Donghyuck but he also doesn't want to be a bother. He knows that Donghyuck wouldn't turn him down and he appreciates it but also feels bad because he feels like he's using the younger boy. Which he's not, he likes spending time with him, he missed spending time with him.

Finally, he decides to spend few hours studying because god knows, he needs it and the knowledge he will obtain today will eventually come in handy.

***

"And I am telling you, he had the nicest butt I've ever seen. It wasn't even big, it was barely there to be honest, but it was nice!" Donghyuck sighs dreamily and Renjun chuckles and takes another bite of the cookie he bought.

"Did you talk to him?"

The taller of the two shakes his head. "I wanted to. But... I didn't." He bites his lip and then continues: "The thing is...he has a boyfriend."

"Oh, so you're pining after someone's who's taken?"

Donghyuck's eyes widen almost comically. "I am not pining, Huang Renjun, don't say that ever again!"

Renjun really doesn't say anything but he's pretty sure that if someone manages to sigh dreamily about someone's non existent butt for almost an hour, it should count as pining.

They're eating in silence, Donghyuck's house is surprisingly almost always quiet. Renjun notices that he keeps spending more and more time with the other and not that he minds, it's just strange that it comes almost naturally now. He texts him after class and they meet up usually in the evening to just chat and eat pizza and watch Netflix.

"What about that roommate of yours? Doesn't he mind that you're almost never home?"

Renjun snorts and almost chokes on the cookie in the process. "Hah, I doubt. He's too busy licking his boyfriend's tonsils."

"Gross," Hyuck laughs and leans over to steal Renjun's cookie. "Are you jealous?"

The older one frowns. "No? I don't mind, I have more cookies in the bag."

"Not of that, you idiot. That he has a boyfriend and doesn't care about you anymore."

It hits Renjun. He realizes that Donghyuck is actually right. Sure, he's been trying his best to avoid both Jeno and Jaemin who's over at their place way more often that Renjun would like, but if Jeno really cared, he'd try to talk to him, right? He'd at least try to do something, which he didn't.

Donghyuck is right, Jeno stopped caring about Renjun, now that he has his _soulmate._ As if humans are only capable of caring about one person at a time. But Renjun is not surprised, he kind of expected it anyway, thought it doesn't make it hurt any less. He's lost his best friend becuse that said boyfriend found himself a boyfriend, that's sad.

"Fuck, Jun, I didn't mean it. I'm sure he cares." Donghyuck notices Renjun's facial expression and pulls him in a hug.

"Will you stop caring about me after you start dating the guy with a nice butt?" he asks and Hyuck chuckles. "Of course not. He's taken. And I wouldn't stop caring about you, ever. Your roomate is an idiot for treating you like this." Renjun smiles at him sadly and cuddles into his side. ¨

"You're more than welcome to stay with me, if things get too unbearable."

"Thank you."

***

He doesn't come home that night and forgets to charge his phone. He doesn't really mind since he isn't planning onto using it anyway, much rather focusing on the movie playing or talking to Donghyuck. But when he comes the following day after his morning class and puts his phone on charge, it literally blows up with messages and missed calls notifications. It's all Jeno. Renjun cringes. Did they lock themselves out and needed his key? Probably, why else would he call him so many times?

He's proven wrong once the door opens and very angry Jeno enters the apartment. "Care to tell me where the fuck have you been the whole night?" he asks, almost shouting.

"That's none of your business," Renjun replies calmly, even though he's slightly surprised that Jeno cares - or pretends to care.

"We were worried." another voice says and yes, of course, Jaemin is there too.

"No one asked you to be worried about me, I don't need you to pretend to be a friend, I don't care about you, I don't know you!" The oldest of the three snaps at Jaemin who takes a step back, obviously taken aback. Jeno frowns, pushing Renjun away from Jaemin.

"Don't yell at him," he says, warning him. Renjun snorts. "Fuck you, both of you. I don't need your fake concern. Where I was is my own business, none of yours. Maybe if you weren't too busy screwing around with him and cared about something else, maybe you'd notice that I'm not home for the past week!"

"I do care," Jeno grabs his arm when Renjun tried to leave. "And so does Jaemin."

"I don't even know that guy, I don't want to," he looks Jeno in the eye. "He's your boy toy, I don't need to know him."

He hears Jaemin gasp and regrets his choice of words. That was maybe a bit too harsh.

"At least tell me where you were, I was worried, you didn't pick up your phone."

"I was with Donghyuck," Renjun says at the end, tired of lying or being defensive, it doesn't solve anything.

"Again? For the whole night? are you guys dating?"

Renjun doesn't react at first, just grabs his backpack, ready to leave for his next classes. He looks Jaemin dead in the eye and says: "Maybe we are."

Jaemin breathes in sharply and Renjun shakes his head, tired of both of them, and closes the door, leaving.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey heyyyyy I'm back from the dead. I don't really know what this chapter is, I think I'm ready to make things move forward a bit.  
> or am I?  
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Thank you and love you.

 "Renjun! Renjun! Huang Renjun!"  
  
The said boy freezes as he hears the voice. Oh not again.   
He turns around and notices the younger boy running towards him. He wants to walk away but he's been rude enough, that's it for the day.  
  
"I gotta go, my Korean lesson starts in few minutes," he tells Jeno as soon as the boy is close enough to hear him. The taller boy places his palms on his knees, breathing heavily. Renjun wonders for how long was Jeno running after him.  
  
"It won't take long, I promise," Jeno wheezes, trying to catch his breath. "But we need to talk!"  
  
Renjun can't help but snort. Sure, they do need to talk, but that's not something they can do in the five minutes he has. "Not enough time."  
  
"Renjun please! Something is terribly wrong with us and I want to make it right again."  
  
Renjun sighs. Jeno's right. He hates that he's right. But he's been so scared of being neglected by his best friend that _he_ was the one to neglect Jeno. His chest tightens, he hates admitting he did wrong. "Let's go home then, I'll get my notes from Chanhee."

It's awkward, to say at least. They haven't talked properly for days which is so not like them. Aren't they supposed to be best friends? Best friends talk, right? They tell each other everything, don't they? Renjun blames both Jeno and himself for it. Sure, the Korean messed up but so did Renjun and then he avoided him as a cherry on top.  It was a shitty thing to do.   
  
They're sitting on the couch and Jeno is keeping a gap between them. That's odd, they've always been comfortable with being close to each other, rather touchy feely together, that being the reason behind their friends assuming they're dating.  
  
"For someone who wanted to talk, you're awfully quiet now," Renjun speaks up and Jeno looks at him, biting his lip, obviously feeling uneasy.   
  
"What happened between us?" He asks,finally.

Renjun scoffs: "You found a boyfriend and stopped caring about anyone else." In the end, it came out harsher than he intended and it made him wince.  
  
"That's not true, Jun." The younger scoots closer, placing his hand on Renjun's knee. It's alarmingly cold, he notices. "I never stopped caring. I never will. You're my best friend, nothing will change that. I love you."  
  
Renjun moves away, he doesn't want to and Jeno's hurt expression hurts him even more. But he can't let his guard down, not yet, not so fast. He doesn't want to get hurt. Again.  
  
"I can't believe that. I'm sorry Jeno. But I've seen how he changed you in only few weeks. "  
  
Jeno sighs and rubs his temples. "If you let me, if you let us, we want to spend time with you! I want to spend time with you! I miss you, Injun. And it hurts me to hear that you don't trust me because I would never leave you behind."  
  
Renjun stands up, done with this conversation. There's not much else they could say. "Would you choose me, though? Over him?"  
  
Jeno looks at him, sad. "I don't want to choose. I want you both."

  
***

  
Everyone can tell that Jeno is trying his hardest to prove to Renjun that he really does care. And the older is not sabotaging it but he's also not making it any easier for him.  
  
After so many days (and nights) spent with Donghyuck, he realized that he feels the best in the boy's company. He still loves Jeno, obviously, but there's so much drama going on between them that it gives him migraine. Whereas with Donghyuck, he can let himself be...himself. He can vent out his feelings and then cuddle the younger boy and listen to him rambling about the boy with no butt.

"So...we talked," Donghyuck says while playing with Renjun's hair. The older sits up, smiling widely.   
"REALLY? When did that happen?"  
  
Hyuck laughs. "Calm down. It happened today, I'd tell you if it happened earlier. I went to buy groceries and we met in the store. Well...I saw him and I might have followed him around a little." Hyuck's face is completely red and Renjun chuckles. "Alright? Let me guess, he noticed and told you to leave him alone?"  
  
Hyuck hits him playfully. "No! He dropped his garlic bread so I rushed over and picked it up for him. He thanked me and smiled at me. Junie, he _smiled_ at me!"  
  
Renjun laughs and hugs his friend tight. "My son's in love for the first time. I'm so proud of you!" He fake sobs. Hyuck screeches. "Get off me you walnut! I'm not your son!"

Renjun kisses the top of Donghyuck's head and the younger gags, laughing. "Let me go, pervert! I'm keeeping my innocence for my soulmate!"

They watch a movie afterwards and then Renjun decides to go home and spend the night there for once. Donghyuck doesn't want to let him go, they're both so used to cuddle at night by now, but he also understands that he needs to be home sometimes.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow? My classes end an hour before yours."

Donghuyck nods and hugs Renjun goodbye. "Text me when you get back."

"I will." And with that, he leaves.

***

The following day, Renjun leaves the school as soon as he can, grabs two coffees at his favorite coffee shop and goes to Hyuck's university to wait for him. He's sitting on a bench, absent-mindly scrolling down his instagram newsfeed when someone sits down next to him. He tries not to look annoyed but there are literally three more benches, all empty. But no, of course they sat next to him.

The person clears his throat, getting Renjun's attention. He looks up and rolls his eyes. "You again?"

Jaemin laughs, sounding somewhat nervous. "I'm sorry that I'm attending this university? What are you even doing here?"

Renjun is about to answer when his phone beeps. Donghyuck.

**From: Heychan  
** _Can't hang out today, sorry Injun! Gotta stay here and help with a project :(_

Renjun puts the phone back into the pocket of his jacket and looks at Jaemin. "Well I was waiting for a friend but it looks like he's not coming."

"Well you got another friend instead!" Jaemin says with a smile, pointing at himself. Renjun wants to roll his eyes again. He's _annoying._ But he promised Jeno that he would try, so here he is, trying. His best, actually.  
He hands him one of the coffees he bought. Jaemin takes it with a raised eyebrow. "That's for me?"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up, it means nothing." He stands up and so does Jaemin. "I heard you like art?"

Jaemin _beams._ "I'll take you to our university art gallery." He grabs Renjun's sleeve and drags him away, the poor boy almost spilling his coffee.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again. Excuse any typos and errors,please, I wrote this on my phone and didn't proofread it.
> 
> Leave any kind of feedback,please :)

Donghyuck locks his phone and puts it back into the pocket of his jacket. He's still thinking about texting Renjun and telling him that his classes actually ended a bit earlier but he also thinks that he could do something nice for Renjun (as he always does), so he decides to take a short walk to the nearest café and buys two cups of coffee for the both of them. He then spends few more minutes inside, enjoying the warmth and the scent of coffee beans that lingers in the air. Something he will never get tired of. 

Someone bumps into his table and he looks up, startled. The person probably tripped and kicked into his table unintentionally. It surely happens to him a lot, mainly because he's incredibly clumsy.  
Then he recognizes the face. And the stranger recognizes him,too.

"Hey! You're the garlic bread guy!"

Donghyuck laughs. That's who he is now? Garlic bread guy?

"Oh yeah, you're the one who takes way too many things but not a cart."

The boy chuckles and Donghyuck's chest tightens. Wow he's beautiful. He wouldn't really describe a guy as beautiful but this one really is. When he saw him before, he didn't notice, but the guy's eyes are really warm and nice and form into adorable eyesmiles whenever he grins. Donghyuck loves it.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I spilled your coffee!" His crush says and Donghyuck looks back at the table. Really, he did. He sighs. The pretty boy quickly grabs few napkins and starts cleaning up the mess.

"It's okay!" Hyuck tries to stop him but the other one doesn't listen.

"No it is not. Let me buy you a new one."

Hyuck should say no, he's supposed to meet with Renjun in only few minutes. But it's  _him._ His soulmate. And he just offered him to buy him a coffee! He'd be stupid to say no. Renjun would understand.

He fishes out his phone and texts Renjun, lying about the reason why they can't meet up and he feels bad for it, but there is no time to explain. And Renjun would want an explanation.

The crush - that's what he's calling him now - really does buy him a new coffee and they spend the next hour just aimlessly talking about university and stuff and it's only after his soulmate leaves that he realizes that he didn't even ask him for his name.

***

Renjun realizes how late it is when he notices that it's already dark outside. He looks at Jaemin that smiles at him, cheeks and the tip of his nose slightly pink. It's really warm in the art gallery so Renjun is sure that his cheeks are just as pink.

"Are you hungry?" He asks the younger boy who bites his lip.

"Well yeah, but you probably want to go home," Jaemin shrugs. "And that's okay, really. Thank you for this afternoon. It was really nice to spend time with you. I knew you're not a bad guy."

Renjun can feel himself blush and he's glad that his face is already red. "Oh you have no idea, I'm worse than the worst."

Jaemin giggles and it makes Renjun smile. He has to admit, Jaemin is not a bad guy either. That, or he's a really good at pretending. "I should go then," he says, finally, and Jaemin nods.

"Okay, sure, I understand that. Thank you, by the way. For giving me a chance."

Renjun snorts. "I'm not doing this for you though. It's for Jeno."

Jaemin looks somewhat hurt but Renjun doesn't want to think about that. "Of course it is. Same with me, you know? You're an important part of Jeno's life and Jeno is important to me. That's why I want to get along with you."

Renjun nods. He understands that, seems like they have the same mindset about this, the same reason for hanging out together. That's good.

"Text me, when you get home," Jaemin speaks up and before Renjun can even register what's going on, the younger boy hugs him. "Bye."

***

"Had fun?"

Renjun almost jumps out of his skin. "What the fuck, Jeno."

The said boy laughs, hugging his friend from behind. Renjun cringes, he's been hugged twice in  a span of one hour and he doesn't like this one bit. "Get off me!"

"You love me," the taller one mumbles into Renjun's hair. It smells nice and familiar and Jeno nuzzles more into him. He missed this.

"Ew. You're gross."

They're quiet for a minute, just standing in the hallway like idiots, Jeno squeezing Renjun so hard that the older thinks he might die right then and there, before he can even lock the front door.

"It's Thursday,"Jeno finally interrupts the comfortable silence.

"I'm aware," Renjun laughs. "What about it?"

It's been few weeks since they had their usual movie night and Renjun actually forgot about it, forgot that it's their thing now.

"Let's watch something," Jeno suggests and the older nods without thinking. Then he's finally free again, can breathe without having his ribs being forced into his lungs and he's more than happy about it.

His roommate squeaks happily and walks to the kitchen to make popcorn, humming contently the whole time. Renjun shakes his head, smiling softly. It'd be a lie if he said that he hadn't missed this. It's what he's used to, after all.

After taking a shower and changing into more comfortable clothes, he enters the living room. Jeno is already waiting for him on the couch, wrapped in a big fluffy blanket. He looks like a burrito. And a furry.

He's about to sit down when Jeno grabs his wrist and pulls him down to his side, throwing  a part of the blanket over him. Renjun wiggles a little, trying to find a comfortable position and ends up with his head on Jeno's lap that is covered with the blanket, on his side, partially under the said huge blanket. Jeno plays with his hair that is still wet from the shower while they watch a movie.

Renjun doesn't really pay an attention to it though, he can feel himself dozing off. The taller boy reaches down to tug the comforter over his shoulders.

"Your hands smell like coffee," Renjun mumbles and Jeno laughs. 

"Yeah, I made some earlier and spilled it all over myself. Can't wash the scent off though."

"I like it," the older shrugs. Then he sits up. "I should go to bed, I'm tired. Spending time with your boyfriend mentally drained me," he laughs. Jeno frowns.

"You were with Jaemin?"

"Yeah we met at his school, he showed me the university art gallery," Renjun nods. Jeno smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Why didn't Jaemin tell him though? He said that he has to help out his classmate and that's why he cancelled their date.

Maybe they met up after he finished tutoring the classmate. Yeah, probably.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the number of chapters is set, meaning this is our halfway point. Kind of. Maybe.  
> Please leave a comment and/or kudos if you like this mess.
> 
> *Not proofread*

Renjun sighs, his face hidden in his palms. There it is, the big ugly 60% written with a red pen, something that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

  
He grabs the paper and tears it in half. Stupid mock test, stupid school.

  
He studied for this, he did, he tried his best. He even spent last night studying after Jeno fell asleep. Yet he recieved sixty freaking percent. He groans out in frustration.

  
Next to him, Yangyang notices his despair, leans in and looks at the torn paper. "You okay, Jun?" He asks in Chinese and Renjun appreciates the boy more than anything in that moment. No one else in this class speaks Chinese so no one will understand Renjun's ranting.

He looks up. "I'm not, actually. I thought I understood this crap. I don't, apparently."

  
Yangyang grabs both pieces of the test and puts them together to look at it. "Oh... You're using the wrong formula."

  
"How do I know which one to use then?" Renjun cries out and few people looks at them. At least no one understands.

  
Yangyang giggles. As if Renjun's despair is something to giggle at.

  
"I can give you my tutor's number, if you want to," he suggests.

  
"You have a tutor?" Renjun looks at Yangyang's test. Ninety eight percent. "Sure, I want."

  
****

  
Turns out, Yangyang's tutor goes to the same school as Renjun but have completely different schedule. The only time they can meet up is after his shift in a café he works at. And even then it's hard to agree on time.  
It's Monday when they finally agree to meet up the same day. It took them three days.  
Mark - Yangyang's and now also Renjun's tutor works in a coffee shop really close to Donghyuck's school. Which Renjun appreciates,at least he doesn't have to spend hours looking for it. He's lived in Seoul for quite a while but knows only few places and how to get there.

  
Renjun gets to the shop ten minutes earlier, just to see Mark wrapping up. He's quite clumsy, even manages to spill someone's drink, at which the manager just cried out "again?" and Renjun has to laugh at that.

  
"You're Renjun, I suppose."

  
The younger one nods, shaking Mark's hand. They get right into tutoring, there in the café. It's warm there and Renjun got coffee and Mark is really good at explaining stuff. After only two hours, Renjun feels like he understands everything he needed to understand.

  
Suddenly, Mark looks up and his entire face lights up. A guy walks up to them and leans in to kiss Mark square on the lips. "Hi baby," he smiles at him and Mark blushes before clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Taeyong, this is Renjun. I'm tutoring him," he gestures at the Chinese boy staring at them.

Taeyong grins at him. "Hi! I saw you last week at school!"

  
Renjun frowns. "Really?"

  
"Yeah, you were with Nana, in the gallery!" As he said that, Renjun remembers him. He even remembers almost drooling over him because he's really attractive. Jaemin seemed to know him and Renjun wondered if all attractive people are friends.

  
"Wait...Nana?" He chokes out a laugh. "As in Jaemin?"

  
Taeyong nods. "He's a cutie, isn't he?"

  
"And while you-" Mark pokes Taeyong in the chest as the boy plops on his lap, "were having fun in the gallery, I managed to spill several drinks during and even after my shift."

  
"Because you're an idiot." Taeyong shrugs. "I hope you apologized."

  
"Of course I did," Mark pouts and Renjun smiles, listening to their bickering while trying to solve the equation Mark gave him. Which is not that hard, not anymore. Thanks to Mark.

  
"You really helped me today," he says after he pays for his and Mark's coffee. He even pays for Taeyong even though the older doesn't like it. "How can I repay you?"

  
"Don't worry about it," Mark smiles at him and Taeyong giggles when he notices.

  
"Mark, baby wait in the car for me. I need to talk to Renjun."

  
The oldest's boyfriend nods and leaves the coffee shop shortly after. Renjun looks at Taeyong, confused. "What's up?"

  
"He obviously likes you," the older boy singsongs. "Yangyang pays him for tutoring but he was okay with just a coffee when it comes to you. That's cute."

  
Renjun doesn't understand what the hell is cute about that. It's nice though, because he's broke.

  
"Take him out for a dinner, if you wanna repay him. He loves food." With that, Taeyong pats his shoulder and leaves too. Renjun grabs his stuff and finally goes home too.

  
****

  
"I fucking got it!" Renjun cries out, waving his test in front of Yangyang's face. "Ninenty nine percent!"

  
Yangyang smiles widely at him, obviously proud. "He's great, isn't he?"

  
Renjun nods, feeling of pride spreading in his chest. He really does need to take Mark out for dinner. Or maybe he could even cook for him. He's broke so cooking at home would be better for him but he'll need help from someone who can cook.

  
Later, when he's home,he texts Donghyuck and asks if he could help him. Hyuck argues that he's not that good at cooking and that if he wants to impress someone (Renjun didn't tell him about Mark), he should ask someone else. The Chinese sighs and puts his phone down. Both Jeno and Jaemin, who came over few minutes ago, look at him.

"Everything okay?" Jeno asks and Renjun leans against the door frame.

  
"I want to cook something for someone special but I am not that good at cooking and need help."

  
"I can help," Jaemin suggests. "Not to brag, but I can cook."

  
"Oh he really can," Jeno nods, cuddling into Jaemin's side. Renjun frowns.   
"You wouldn't mind?"

  
"Of course I wouldn't. We're best friends now, aren't we?" Jaemin gets up from the couch and walks up to Renjun, smiling.

  
"Ew," the older grimaces and Jeno whines.

  
"First of all, Renjun is my best friend so back off and second of all, come back I'm cold."

  
Jaemin laughs and leans against Renjun. "Can't. Need to teach my best friend how to cook."

  
Renjun rolls his eyes. He regrets everything.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bacK!  
> this is a more of a filler chapter but...some important things are about to happen in the few next chapters so...  
> please leave a comment and/or kudos if you like this mess, I really appreciate it and love reading your comments, it always makes my day. Love you lotS!

Jeno hasn't stopped talking about Renjun bringing Mark home the entire morning. He probably thinks they're a thing, which is ridiculous, because Mark has a boyfriend and Renjun told Jeno and Jaemin that he's with Donghyuck. The dinner with (for) Mark is completely platonic, it's Renjun's way to show his gratitude. Thanks to him, he passed the exam and that itself deserves way more than just a regular dinner, but he took Taeyong's advice to heart. The tutor's boyfriend probably knows the best what he likes, doesn't he.

Before Jeno leaves to meet up with Jaemin (and promises to come home after midnight so that there are no awkward introductions), he calls his boyfriend and lets him talk to Renjun who needs one last help with the dessert. They go through the entire recipe, step by step and Jaemin gives him few tips and tricks. Renjun would never admit that, but he really appreciates it.

"If anything goes wrong, you can always use yourself as the dessert," Jeno laughs and Renjun huffs.

"You'll do fine, tell Jeno to shut up," Jaemin mumbles, sounding little irritated. Renjun doesn't know why but he honestly doesn't even care.    
  
"Thanks Jaem, I hope it won't poison him," Renjun laughs and he can hear Jaemin's breath hitch.

"Jaem?" He basically _hears_ the smirk in his voice.

"Shut up."

******

"Your place is really nice," Mark smiles as he takes off his shoes. Renjun can tell that he's just being nice because he only saw the hallway so far. There's nothing nice about that. He decides not to comment on it, just smiles back and thanks him.  Then he leads him to the living room and gestures for him to sit down on the couch.

"Give me a minute, I'll be right back," he tells Mark and goes to the kitchen to get the food ready. He can't help but notice that Mark dressed up real nice tonight and he wonders if he's meeting with Taeyong after this. Or if he has places to go. He doubts that he'd dress up just like for him, there's no reason for it, after all.

He brings the food to the living room and Mark's eyes go wide as soon as he sees the plates. "Wow."

"Good or bad wow?" Renjun chuckles nervously. Mark grins at him, adorable eyesmiles forming on his face.

"The best kind of wow, don't worry." He starts eating right away. "This is delicious, I didn't know you could cook."

"Obviously, because you never asked. But to be honest, me neither. After Taeyong told me that I could express my gratitude through food, I asked friend of mine to teach me to cook something really good. This is the result." Renjun admits. Then he notices that Mark got the tomato sauce on his nose. How, he has no idea and he's not going to ask. Instead, he puts his hand on Mark's shoulder and leans in to wipe the sauce the away. Mark's eyes go comically wide as he watches Renjun. Their eyes meet for a second and Renjun feels his cheek turn red. He quickly moves away from the older and gets back to eating. Mark is still staring at him, he can tell, it's almost burning.

"You look really nice," his tutor says all of a sudden and Renjun almost chokes on his rice. He quickly looks down on his outfit. He's wearing sweatpants, how is that nice?

"Uhm...thanks."

"Did it hurt?" Mark continues and Renjun looks at him, confused.

"Excuse me?"

"When you fell from the vending machine. Because you're a snack."

Renjun honestly wants to slap him but holds himself back. Instead, he starts laughing. "Did you make Taeyong fall for you with these?"

"Actually, he used this one on me," Mark replies, smiling like the idiot that he is. Renjun shakes his head, still chuckling. "You're unbelievable."

There's a comfortable silence between them for a couple of minutes, both too busy eating and watching the TV that Renjun turned on. Renjun likes that, Mark is surprisingly easy to talk to and spend time with. His stupid pick up line kind of broke up the weird awkward tension between them and even though Renjun still doesn't understand why would Mark try to hit on him in the first place, he appreciates it, sort of, because he feels way more comfortable around him now. He's just really glad that he found someone who can help him with school and who's cool to hang out with.

Deep in his thoughts, he doesn't even notice that Mark moved closer to him, their thighs touching now. The warmth of his body is actually nice. He notices only after Mark puts his palm on his knee. He says nothing as he's quite used to being touchy with his friends, he even let Jaemin hug him that one time.  
The older moves even closer, even their shoulders are touching now and Renjun can basically smell the other boy's cologne. Or perfume. It smells fruity, almost feminine. Renjun is not complaining though, it's nice.

It's when he feels Mark's palm move up his thigh when he looks at him,alarmed. "What are you doing?"

Mark smirks. "Oh please, don't act like that's not why you invited me here."

Renjun opens his mouth to say something but Mark is faster than he anticipated and before he can do anything, the older is kissing him, holding him by the back of his head so that Renjun can't move away.  His other hand is on the other's lower back, pressing him even closer to him. He's patient, kissing him slowly, nothing wild or passionate, just Mark's lips pressing and moving against his.  
The Chinese boy doesn't even react at first, not really comprehending what's going on, but once it dawns on him, he pushes the older away, moving to the other end of the couch.

"What the fuck, Mark? You have a boyfriend, how could you do this to Taeyong?" his voice is shaking a little bit and he's out of breath.

Mark blinks, not saying anything, biting his lower lip. "I thought you knew that Taeyong and I are in an open relationship. That's why he suggested this. He could tell I liked you."

Renjun stares at him. Open relationship? Taeyong suggested what? Taeyong knows? He knows about all of this?

"I'm not cheating, if that's what you're worried about. Taeyong is also seeing other people. It's fun."

The younger doesn't know how to react. Sure, he thinks that Mark is really attractive and he doesn't mind spending time with him, but this? It has never crossed his mind. Mainly because he knows that Mark is dating Taeyong and he's not a homewrecker.

"I'm not trying to force you into anything, but you seem like you like me too." then he stands up. "I'm going to give you some space, okay?" then he leans down and kisses Renjun on the forehead. The younger is still frozen on his spot. "Thanks for the food, Jun. I loved it."

Only after the front door shuts closed,Renjun lets out a frustrated groan. Can't he have just a normal friendship for once?

He gets up and walks into the kitchen just to grab the dessert that he made earlier and eats both servings, because he's upset, confused and because he can.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand I'm back. The RenMin part of this story is finally moving forward, a teeny tiny bit. 
> 
> Please, leave kudos and/or comment, if you like this story, it really means a lot to me. Thank you

Jeno bursts out laughing as Chenle trips over his own feet. He looks at Jaemin who's giggling behind his hand and smiles at him with such fondness that Chenle can't help but point that out. Both of them immediately turn red and Jisung snorts.

"You're gross," he says with no malice in his voice. Chenle pokes the youngest one in the ribs. "Stop that, Jisung. We were just like that when we started dating."

Jaemin wides his eyes comically, Jeno's afraid that his eyeballs might fall out. "You guys are dating?"

Chenle shakes his head. "No, not anymore, we broke up last summer. We just figured we're better off as friends. We weren't exactly acting as a couple anyway."

Jeno chuckles. He didn't know that these two used to date and honestly can't even imagine them as a couple. They're still kids in his eyes, even though they're only one year and two years his juniors, but he sees them as little babies and little babies don't date.

Suddenly, his phone rings and he glances at the display to see the caller's ID. He frowns as he sees Renjun's name and accepts the call immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"Jen, could you please come home? I'd really appreciate you here," the older boy sobs and Jeno's frown deepens. He notices Jaemin staring at him and realizes that he probably heard what Renjun said.

"Sure, I'll be home in twenty, okay? Is everything alright? Are you hurt?"

Renjun stays quiet for a while and Jeno's worried that maybe he hung up, but then he speaks up: "Tell Jaemin I'm sorry that I'm taking you from him."

"Don't worry about it, Jun," Jaemin says, loud enough for Renjun to hear. The Chinese chuckles humorlessly before hanging up. Jeno stares at his boyfriend who stares back at him.

"Is he okay?"

"He wouldn't say. I don't like this. He is supposed to be with Mark." Then he stands up, grabbing his jacket. "Do you think you could take me home?" he looks at Chenle who nods and fishes out his car keys.

***

It's been several days since the fiasco with Mark that Renjun has told no one about. When Jeno came home that night, he just cuddled into his side and cried until both of them fell asleep. Jeno didn't ask any questions and Renjun is really grateful for that.

He was also surprised to wake up to several messages from Jaemin who asked him if he was okay and if he needed anything. Strangely, he appreciated those messages too. He replied to latest message, thanking him for worrying about him and assured him that he's more than okay now. Which he was, he just needed to cry it out.

Renjun isn't really that kind of person to cry very often, or to express any kind of emotions for that matter. He usually keeps everything to himself, bottling it up until it explodes. He got little better after he started meeting with Donghyuck again, ocassionally exploding with frustration, but he's much better now, yet he still doesn't cry very often. And it's not like he was sad after Mark left, he was frustrated and confused and he didn't know how else to deal with those emotions.

Jeno, who see him during those rare occasions when he cried, held him wordlessly, absentmindly stroking his arm as Renjun sobbed into his shirt.

And he's feeling much better now. He hasn't contacted Mark since that night, but doesn't ignore him when the elder texts him, just never initiates the conversation. And that's okay, it doesn't seem like Mark minds and it's not like Renjun really cares if he does.

But facing Taeyong after that night was hard, uncomfortable and highly awkward. He somehow forgot that Mark's boyfriend goes to the same university as Donghyuck and ran into him when he came to pick the younger up.

Taeyeong obviously knew what'd happened between him and Mark and gave him an apologetic smile which Renjun ignored, thinking if he should just walk past by him and pretend he doesn't even know him. But then Taeyeong asked him how he was doing and Renjun, being the fool he is, started talking to him. When Donghyuck walked up to him, he frowned at Taeyeong, grabbed Renjun's hand and dragged him away.

Right now, he's at Jaemin's place for the first time - Jeno's idea - and tries not to cringe at the interaction between Jeno and his boyfriend. He still has a hard time accepting Jaemin as Jeno's other half, and it's not because he thinks that Jaemin is a bad person or that he's not enough, he just doesn't think they're a good match. Tinder thought otherwise, though.

"Oh my, I just remembered....I'm going away this weekend, I'm going back home. Chaelin is getting married."

Renjun's face lights up. "Is she really? Don't forget to congratulate her for me!"

Jaemin's frowns, visibly confused. "Chaelin?"

"My sister..." Jeno sighs. In that ' _I already told you'_ tone. Renjun really doesn't like the sound of it but decides to ignore it. "So I'm going back home on Friday. Should be back by Monday though."

The youngest nods and then stands up, walking to the kitchen to grab himself a drink. Jeno takes that chance to look at Renjun. "You're invited, by the way. I just didn't want to say that in front of Jaemin so that he doesn't feel left out."

Renjun chuckles. "It's okay, I get it. And I'd love to come, really, but I have assignments to finish. Just congratulate her for me and give her a present that I'll buy, okay?"

Jeno nods. "Alright, but if you change your mind..."

"I won't. I don't even have a suit. It's okay, Jen, really."

Jeno's eyes widen. "Oh my god, my suit! I need to pick it up! Tell Jaemin I'll be right back!" and with that, he storms out of the apartment. Jaemin walks into the room. "I heard, don't worry."

Renjun nods. "Is that for me?" he asks as Jaemin hands him a cup of hot cocoa. The latter only smiles.

***

Jaemin wheezes from laughing too much, both arms wrapped around his own torso as he leans backwards, gasping for air. Renjun shakes his head but smiles none the less. "It's not even that funny Jaemin!"

Jaemin pays him no attention, too busy laughing. "Because you're a ....a snack!"

"I'll never tell you anything ever again!" Renjun pouts and Jaemin stops laughing, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes.

"Aw, I'm sorry Jun. It's just... did he really think that would work?"

"I don't know! Maybe? Apparently someone used it on him in the past."

Jaemin starts laughing again. "And who was this...charmer?"

Jun's smile falls. "I'd rather not tell."

"Was it Jeno?" Jaemin asks, face blank. "Because I'm not going to lie, I used to think that there was something going on between the two of you."

Jeno and Renjun? That's impossible. Sure, many people actually thought that they're a couple, but they're not, never were and thank god, never will be. They're just really close. Have always been. But they're like brothers...there's nothing romantic about their friendship.

"Back when Jeno and I started dating, he used to talk about you a lot. Like eighty percent of our conversations was just about you. And I didn't mind, never, I could tell that you were really important for him. But sometimes I wondered if there wasn't more to it. If you mean so much to him because he loves you as a friend or loves you...romantically."

"And you don't think so anymore?"

"Of course not," Jaemin giggles. "I know him way better know. And I know you. It's hard not to love you."

Silence falls between them, slightly awkward. Renjun doesn't know what to say. It's not like he dislikes Jaemin but still, the main reason he's willing to spend time with him is Jeno and it always will be just for him. If they ever split up - and he really hopes they won't - it'll be easier to leave Jaemin behind, if he doesn't get too close to him in the first place.

Renjun looks back at the other boy and notices that he's staring at him. At his _lips_ to be exact. He licks them involuntarily and hears Jaemin breathe in harshly.

"When is Jeno coming back?" he asks without looking away. Renjun feels the blush creeping up on his neck. He's not uncomfortable but this is weird. It feels like this shouldn't be happening yet he can't bring himself to tell Jaemin to stop.

"Soon."

"Good," the younger one nods. "Are you hungry? Because I am. I really, really am."

Renjun feels himself leaning forward when he realizes what he's doing and he literally jumps on his feet. "I think I should go home. Thanks for having me Jaemin."

He grabs his coat and starts putting it on, in an extreme rush. Without another word he hurries outside and quickly walks home.

_What the hell? What the hell? What even was that? What the fuck?!_

He rubs his temples, trying to calm down. He needs to sort out his thoughts but they're racing and they always wander back to Jaemin.

What was that about? What happened? Is he out of his mind? Is Jaemin out of his mind?

He reaches into his pocket for the keys and quickly unlocks the door just to colapse against it once he's inside.

Maybe getting closer to Jaemin wasn't such a good idea, no matter how much he adores Jeno and wants to do it for him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK BEACHES.  
> Hi, I'm back from the dead. Please tell me you like this chapter. Please give me the validation no one else would.

There's this weird feeling in his chest when he gets home. He feels like he fucked up, royally, even though nothing really happened, but oh god, he _wanted to._  
He closes his eyes and all he sees is Jaemin's face and his damn lips and his knees buckle. He needs to sit down and as soon as he does, he lets out a half cry, half scream. He's frustrated and confused and he just wishes that he could go back to disliking Jaemin, he hates that he's so okay with him, with his existence and his presence in the close proximity of his own. He hates that his opinion of him changed, an entire one-eighty from what it used to be.

There's no point in blaming Jaemin, he let him close himself, he has no one else to blame but himself. But once again, he just wants a damn normal friendship. He doesn't want to think about his 'friend's' lips, he doesn't want to be in this weird situation that he somehow got himself into.

The door clicks and he looks up, staring at Jeno holding his suit.

"Why aren't you at Jaemin's?" he asks and Renjun shrugs.

"I really wasn't feeling my best. Why aren't you?"

"I needed to leave this-" he shows him the suit "-home. I'll head back to him now though."

Awkward silence. Renjun internally cringes.

"Are you sure that you don't wanna go back with me?"

But he can't face him. He can't even face Jeno right now. His mind goes wild, everything is screaming _I almost kissed your boyfriend oh my god Jeno I almost kissed your boyfriend and god is my witness that I wanted to._

He could never tell him, he could never hurt him like this. Instead, he shakes his head, tells him that he's okay now but he'll rather stay home and takes a nap. Jeno pats him on the back on his way out and it's both awkward and weirdly comforting. Renjun doesn't deserve to be comforted by him.

***

"I'll be home on Monday," Jeno says, readjusting his bag over his shoulder. "Please don't put the house on fire."

Renjun only chuckles. He sounds like a parent going on a vacation without their kid.

"You can still come you know. She will be happy to see you," Jeno reminds him but Renjun shakes his head, once again.

"I'll stay here, it's okay. You go there and have fun and kiss her cheek from me  and stuff."

It's weird to know that she's getting married. He feels like he has known her his entire life which is obviously not the case but during that time they have known each other, he felt like she's his own sister, that's how close they are. It makes him sad that he won't be there with her on her special day but at the end of the day, he's not actually part of the family and at least he'll spend the weekend doing something productive, now that he won't Jeno breathing down his neck every two seconds.

"Of course I will. I'll call you or something, yeah?"

Renjun nods and Jeno throws the bag on the backseat of his car. It's not even his, he borrowed it from his classmate. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

The Chinese nods again, as if he can't do anything else. Jeno sighs, leaning against the door. "Please check on Jaemin. Sometimes he gets too into studying and forgets to eat or drink. I can't have him passing out when no one's around."

Renjun's insides tighten. He had no idea Jaemin's like this. It makes him worried and he hates that, but he's still a decent human being, just because all sorts of stuff happened between them, doesn't mean that he will let him starve himself.

They say their last goodbye's and with that, Jeno finally leaves. Renjun stares at his cellphone for a good minute before dialing the number he hoped he would never call again.

"Yeah?" Jaemin sounds tired and Renjun curses under his breath. He forgot that it's really early in the morning.

"Hey. Sorry, did I wake you up?" He asks, even though he doesn't really care. Jaemin hums and mutters something that sounds like _no._ "Do you want to come over? For the weekend?"

As soon as it leaves his mouth, he realizes how strange it sounded. "We can built a fort and watch movies," he blurts out and Jaemin giggles on the other side.

"That sounds like a play date."

_Date._

"Uhm..." he clears his throat, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "You don't have to come if you don't want to."

"I never said I didn't want to," Jaemin assures him. "I'll be there around noon. I'll cook for you."

Renjun can feel himself blush. What the hell is wrong with him?

Trying to recollect himself, he takes a shower and cleans the apartment. He doesn't want Jaemin to think that he's trying too hard but he also wants the place looks as clean as possible.

Once he's done he falls face first down on the couch and groans. This was a bad idea. He should've just called and asked if he ate or something. He's messing up, he knows that. He can feel it in his bones, he's going to regret this.

When the bell rings, he almost dies of shock. Groaning, he gets up and walks slowly towards the door. Should he pretend that he's not home?

But he's already reaching for the knob and then he opens the door to reveal none other than Jaemin, his cheeks and the tip of his nose adorably red. Renjun wants to slap himself for even thinking about him like this.

"Hi," he breathes out and Jaemin steps closer to him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Renjun's breath hitches.

_Is he going to kiss me?_

Jaemin's jacket is wet from the rain and he presses himself closer to Renjun, just hugging him, his cold cheek against Renjun's neck, making the older boy shreak.

"You're _cold_!" he cries out, pushing the boy away. Jaemin pouts.

"Then warm me up!"

Renjun lets him inside, walking quickly to the kitchen. "Do you want some tea?"

"Coffee would be better," he's suddenly behind him, very close. The hairs on Renjun's arms stand up. Jaemin's warm breath tickles his neck.

 _Kiss me you coward,_ he finds himself thinking, shaking his head to get rid of such stupid thoughts. He can't believe himself. What's going on? Has he completely lose his mind?

He tries to focus on making the coffee for Jaemin, his hands trembling. This was a bad idea, such a bad idea. He keeps telling himself that, like some sort of mantra. Jaemin is sitting on the couch, in an oversized turtleneck sweater, looking tiny. Renjun wants to run his fingers through the younger boy's hair.   
He finishes the coffee and puts it on the coffee table in front of Jaemin. "Have you eaten?"

"Not yet," the other boy shrugs. "I'll cook for us later though."

_This won't do._

Renjun sighs. "No. You need to eat, now. I'll make something and then you can cook dinner, yeah?"

Jaemin stares at him, small smile tugging on the corners of his lips. Then he nods, his eyes not leaving Renjun's face. It makes the Chinese tingle all over. He quickly turns around and goes back to the kitchen, making instant ramen as that's the only thing that they have and he can cook.   
He watches the water simmer, doing anything just so he can ignore Jaemin's presence and his scent lingering in the air. It's too much for him. He doesn't understand what's going on, he's confused and mad at his own self.

Maybe he just needs to get laid. Should he call Mark?

"Who's Mark?"

Renjun turns around, staring at Jaemin. "What?"

Can he...read his mind?

Jaemin stares at him, then glances at his phone that he left on the coffee table. "He texted you."

Renjun's face flushes. Crap. Mark keeps texting him for the past few days, being overly sweet to him, wishing him good morning and good night. Some days, Renjun ignores him, some days he doesn't and actually has a nice conversation with him. Today is one of those days when he feels like talking to him.

"What did- what did he text me?" He wants Jaemin to look at the message, to see how sweet Mark is to him. But why?

Jaemin takes his phone and unlocks it, as Renjun doesn't have any kind of password. He stares at the display for a solid minute, his jaw tight. "He's asking you out."

He looks up at him and frowns. "Aren't you dating Donghyuck?"

Renjun shrugs. "We're not...a couple." Why can't he just say the truth? He's not dating Donghyuck. He's not interested in Mark. He's single and ready to mingle..

Or is he.

"Do you want to go out with him?"

"I shouldn't." Renjun says, quietly. The boiling water is basically louder than his voice right now. Jaemin gets up, walking towards him. "Why."

"He's taken."

"But he's interested."

"But he has a boyfriend."

"If he didn't?" Jaemin leans against the wall. "Would you go out with him?"

"That doesn't matter." His voice is still very quiet whereas Jaemin's tone is firm, almost too loud. "He's taken. I can't get between them."

"But don't you want him?"

Suddenly, Renjun is not sure who they're talking about and he's afraid to ask. He's afraid of the answer. He quickly turns around, finishing he ramen with shaky hands. He can hear Jaemin leaving the kitchenette, getting back on the couch. He takes a deep breathe and stares at the food as if it's its fault.

He places the bowl on the coffee table and the chopsticks next to it. Jaemin doesn't look up from his phone. "Jeno just texted me, he's finally there."

Renjun's heart skips a beat at the mention of his best friend. He feels so guilty.

"Good. Good to know."

Jaemin throws the phone away and it lands safely on one of the pillows that are on the couch. "Feed me."

***

"I swear to god, Jaemin, I will strangle you," Renjun places the bowl safely back on the coffee table. "You're not a baby. Stop acting like one."

"But I don't want to eat anymore. I'm full."

Renjun glares at him. "I agreed to feeding you so shut up and eat." Without thinking he reaches over, wiping his chin. He really acts like a baby, getting the damn food everywhere.   
Jaemin tenses. "I was joking, you know. With the feeding thing."

"You're telling me that now? Ten minutes later? Yeah, good try buddy. Open up."

The younger surprisingly obeys and slurps what Renjun's giving him. It feels strangely intimate even thought it's such a stupid thing.

Once he's done eating, Renjun places the bowl and the chopsticks on the table and sits next to Jaemin. They don't talk, just sit next to each other in awkward silence. He doesn't dare to speak up first. He doesn't know what he should say anyway. Jaemin wiggles on the couch, trying to sit more comfortably, then he turns a little and leans back until he falls on his back, head on Renjun's thighs. _Real subtle,_ Renjun thinks but doesn't say anything. He lets him lie down like this and turns on the TV, staring at it without really listening. His heart is beating so loud he can basically hear it and he's afraid that so does Jaemin. If he does, he doesn't point it out, just lies with his head in Renjun's lap, browsing Instagram explore page. The older boy turns his attention back to the TV but it's hard when there's the unmistakable warmth of the other boy's body, the subtle scent of his shampoo slowly filling up Renjun's nose. Or maybe he's just creepily sniffing him, who knows.

He dares to look down just to find him looking back up at him. His eyes flicker to his lips and back to his eyes. Renjun licks his lips involuntarily and he can hear Jaemin gasp. His heart is beating so fast it can basically jump out of his ribcage.

_Kiss me._

Jaemin leans up, propping himself up on his elbows.

_Kiss me._

The phone rings. It's almost movie like, interrupting them in this intense moment.

"Ignore it," Jaemin's voice is barely above a whisper.

_Kiss me._


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello   
> I'm back with another short chapter. Big thanks to all of you who left a comment on the previous chapter, you have no idea what that means to me.  
> Once again, if you like this mess of a chapter, leave kudos and/or a comment. Love you all.
> 
> Unbeta'd and not proofread

The phone keeps ringing. Renjun glances at it and then back at Jaemin whose face is even closer to his now. He doesn't know what to do. He wants to kiss him, he wants Jaemin to kiss him but he's also painfully aware that they can't do that. Jaemin is dating Jeno, Renjun's _best friend._ He can't do that to him, he can't hurt him like that. He migt like Jaemin, but it's not worth it, right?

"I should get that," he tells the younger boy, their faces now only an inch apart. His ringtone sounds almost desperate now. Yet, he can't seem to move.

He can't take his eyes off Jaemin's lips when he tells him that he indeed should. He moves away, straightening up and reaches for the phone, avoiding touching Jaemin in any way. The other boy sits up, well aware of the weird tension between them.

"I'm going to take a shower," he says quietly as Renjun nods and grabs the phone. He sighs as he accepts the call and listens to his mom yelling at him for not answering. He can hear the water running and he rubs his temple, mumbling something to which his mom doesn't even respond.

"How's Jeno?" she asks and his breath hitches.

_Oh god._

"He left this morning, his sister is getting married tomorrow," he informs her and she laughs. "That's nice. Now it's his turn. And yours. When will you introduce me to your girlfriend?"

He wants to laugh bitterly. "I don't have one mom, you know that. I'd tell you." He's not exactly planning on telling his parents that he is in fact attracted to both girls and boys. "I gotta go mom. I'm meeting a friend later so I need to get ready."

"You should call me every once in a while, you know," she says and sighs. "I've missed you. When are you going to come visit us?"

"Soon," he promises and tells her his goodbye before hanging up. He falls face first down on the couch. The water stops running and Renjun's insides twist painfully. He can't face him now, not after he almost kissed him. He's not even sure Jaemin wanted it. Yeah he leaned closer but was it for the kiss? He obviously loves Jeno and he would be pretty stupid to leave him for Renjun. Also, the Chinese knows that Jeno loves his boyfriend and he would never want to be a home wrecker. He loves Jeno too much to do that. No matter what he feels for Jaemin - and he's honestly not even sure what he feels for him. Sure, they got closer and he likes the way he looks, smiles, acts around people he cares about...

Renjun sits up and rubs his face with his palms, suddenly very tired. Jaemin enters the room and looks at him, smiling softly. "Hi."

"Hi," he mumbles back and gets up to take a shower himself. Jaemin quickly walks into the kitchenette, they're very much obviously avoiding each other. He managed to make things awkward, great.

***

The dinner tastes great and Renjun can tell that Jaemin is a great cook. He could get used to eating food from him real quick. Which he's not going to, for obvious reasons.   
When they're done eating, Jaemin does the dishes and Renjun hides in his bedroom for a while, just to be alone and sort his thoughts out. But he also promised that they would watch a movie, so this is a shitty excuse to be here, he's here for the laptop and blankets.

He lies down on the bed and closes his eyes, events from the day flashing behind his closed eyelids. Jaemin's lips, his presence, his scent.   
Whining, he burries his face into his pilow, frustrated. Can't he just have a crush on Mark? On Donghyuck? Even Jeno? Anyone would be better than Jaemin.  
He's not even trying to deny it, he likes Jaemin, he has a crush on Jaemin and he only hopes that it will go away soon, he doesn't need this kind of thing in his life.

His eyelids get heavy, hard to open and he yawns. Fully aware that he should get back into the living room and watch a movie with Jaemin, he uses all of his willpower to get up and go back to Jaemin who immediately notices how tired the smaller boy is and smiles softly. "Lay down, we don't have to watch the movie if you're sleepy."

He hums in response and lies down on the couch, his blanket still gripped tightly in his hand. Jaemin chuckles and covers him with it. Renjun hums again, eyes already closed, half dozed off when he feels something warm pressed against his forehead.

***

He wakes up few hours later, it's already dark outside and there's a body pressed against his chest. He looks down to see the back of Jaemin's head.

He's spooning him. His heart misses a beat.

He stretches a little not to disturb the younger one's sleep but Jaemin whines and cuddles more into Renjun's body whose breath hitches. Jaemin looks over his shoulder.

"You're awake?"

The other one only nods and closes his eyes again. Maybe he could get few more hours of sleep. Jaemin is warm and it feels nice, even on the small couch.

"I can't sleep," Jaemin speaks up.

"Well I can." Renjun snorts, not bothering to look at the younger. "Just close your eyes and sleep, Jaem."

He can feel him shifting and then breathe on his collar bones as Jaemin presses his face into his chest. It feels intimate, so good yet so wrong at the same time. It's not that weird that they're cuddling, Jeno cuddles with him all the time, so does Donghyuck. But he's still super aware of the weird tension between the two of them and it makes this whole thing even weirder.

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

Renjun sighs. This is really not a conversation he wants to have at god knows what time. Or any time, actually.

"Go to sleep."

"Because I do. I believe that everyone has their platonic and a romantic soulmate. I believe Jeno is my soulmate."

That _hurts._ It's not like Renjun didn't know that Jaemin loves his best friend but being reminded like this, while he's pressed against him, that hurts.

"How do you even know if someone's your soulmate?" he asks, slowly opening his eyes only to find Jaemin staring right back at him. There are butterflies in his stomach. He hates it.

"You just know. Sometimes you meet someone and you get to know them and you feel like you've known them your whole life, like they're meant to be in your life and that someone is your soulmate. But not your romantic soulmate."

Renjun says nothing as he feels like Jaemin is going to continue. He does. "But then you can also meet a person that just feels _right_. From the very first sight, you know."

He wants to know, did he feel like that when he met Jeno. He wants to ask but he's also afraid to hear the  answer. But he can't help it.

"That's what you felt when you met Jeno?"

Jaemin's smile falls. He shakes his head which only confuses Renjun even more. Didn't he say that Jeno was his soulmate?

"Wait-then I don't-"

Jaemin reaches up and covers his mouth with his palm. It's warm, too warm, and Renjun wants to squirm away. "I'm sure he is my soulmate, but I never said he was the romantic one. I love Jeno. I do but-"

The older boy shoves him away, almost pushing him off the couch. "I can't do this, I'm sorry Jaemin. What are we doing? You love Jeno, and so do I, he's my best friend. Whatever this is..it needs to stop." He leaves his blanket on the couch for Jaemin and walks into his room. He knows that if he let Jaemin talk to him, he'd want to stay, he has that kind of influence on him. He needed to get away from him, to be able to think straight for a minute. He closes the door and slides down, sitting on the ground with his face in his palms.

He left his phone in the living room and he's terrified to go there and get it.   
Glancing at his bed, he decides to try to get few more hours of sleep. Maybe when he wakes up, Jaemin will be gone. Or maybe this is all just a really bad dream.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hi, I'm not dead (again)  
> Thank you so so so much for reading this story so far. Next chapter will be a bit longer (My plan is around 3k words but who knows lololol) and it will be actually quite important since it's almost the end of this mess.  
> Once again, please leave comments or kudos if you like this chapter. Please, validate me. lol. xx

Jaemin is not there when Renjun wakes up and it feels both right and wrong. They should talk, get things straight. They're both avoiding it though, fake it 'till you make it kind of a deal. Renjun's stomach hurts whenever he even thinks about Jaemin, he can't talk to him, he can't talk to Jeno.

For a brief moment, he thinks about calling Mark, getting laid and regretting that later, so that he doesn't have to think about what happened last night. But something inside him, a voice, that sounds dangerously a lot like Jaemin's, tells him not to. He doesn't like Mark, not like that. He's not built for the kind of stuff that the older boy has going on with his boyfriend.

He also wants to call Donghyuck, to tell him what happened, maybe cry a little about being a fuck up of a friend. He knows that the other boy wouldn't judge him, at least he hopes so, and right now, he's the only person he can talk to without wanting to die from guilt or shame.

While cleaning up the apartment, he wonders what Jaemin is up to now. No matter how much he hates it, he can't get the younger boy out of his head. Hasn't been able to for the past few days, not that he would ever admit it.

Is this the soulmate thing Jaemin was talking about? Are they soulmates?

Sighing, he sits down on the couch and looks on the coffee table, his phone still there, barely still on, two percent remaining. He unlocks it and texts Donghyuck to come over, nothing else. Then he puts his phone on the charger and turns the TV on, which ends up being only a background noise as he continues cleaning up, as if the vacuum cleaner can suck in all of his guilt too. How can he face Jeno now, pretending like everything's fine and nothing happened. They messed up big time, both Renjun and Jaemin and it can only hurt Jeno in the end, nothing good will ever come from this.

Few minutes later, the doorbell rings and Renjun opens the door to let Donghyuck in. The younger boy is smiling but as soon as he sees his friend's face, the smile falls, frown settling on his face instead.

"Oh my, what happened?"

So Renjun starts talking, tells Donghyuck about disliking Jaemin at first, even though the other one already knew, tells him about them getting closer, tells him about Mark and the whole fiasco and finally, tells him about the previous night that screwed up everything. Donghyuck doesn't say a word for once, just listens to whatever Renjun has to say and when the older boy is done, he hugs him, tight.

"Do you like him?" he asks when they pull away. Renjun nods, as if saying it out loud would make it more real. Donghyuck stares at him, he wants him to admit it.

"Hell, Hyuck, I think I might be falling in love with him." There's nothing the younger can say or do to make this better, to make his best friend hurt less. So he just hugs him again and lets the smaller boy cry into his shirt.

***

Everything changes when Jeno comes back. Jaemin tries to talk to Renjun when he's over but the older doesn't let him, he's afraid of Jaemin would say, he's afraid that he wouldn't be able to hold himself back and would kiss him right then and there. So he closes himself into a shell, refuses to talk even to Jeno. He hates himself for having feelings for Jaemin, he hates himself for being such a bad friend. Jeno trusts him and he doesn't deserve his trust, his friendship.

As days go by, he slowly starts talking to Jeno again, not to seem too weird or make things suspicious. He tells his best friend that he got sick and stressed from school and that's why he was so distant. Jeno understands, like the amazing person he is, and Renjun hates himself a little more for that.

Days slowly turn into weeks, he gets successfully through midterm exams and winter slowly rolls away, the weather getting nicer, warmer, almost pretending to be spring but not just _yet_ , making Renjun realize that he's been in love with Jaemin for months now and even though they're barely talking, the feelings are not going anywhere. It's not a crush and the Chinese hates it.

He starts spending way more time with Donghyuck who tells him about the boy he's been crushing on. Sometimes they see each other in the grocery shop and they talk but not even once has either of them asked for the name of the other one. So they're both anonymous to the other, which is exciting in Donghyuck's opinion, mysterious even, and stupid in Renjun's but he'd never say that out loud. He's never seen his friend so excited talking about somone and he can tell that he really likes that boy, which is weird, because they don't know each other. Which only makes him think about Jaemin and what he said about soulmates. Maybe this guy really is Hyuck's soulmate.

"It's your birthday soon, isn't?" Hyuck asks as if he doesn't know the answer already. Renjun rolls over on his back on Donghyuck's bed and hums. "Any plans?" the younger boy closes the door of his closet and walks over to his bed, sitting beside Renjun. "Are you having a party or something?"

"Oh, sure, because I'm _such a party animal,_ " Renjun grins. "No, no plans, not really. Jeno wants to take me out for dinner because I refused to let him buy me a present. But I don't know if I'll go. He wants to take Jaemin too."

Donghyuck sighs. It's been weeks, so long, _too long,_ since his friend admitted having feelings for his best friend's boyfriend and he can see just how much it's hurting him.

"And if I went, too? So you don't feel like a thirdwheel? I wanted to meet Jeno anyway, I want to know who your best friend is, if not me."

Renjun laughs and moves a little so he can put his head on Hyuck's lap. "You'd do that for me?"

"Of course. I want to know who's that asshole who snatched your heart. Maybe I'll punch him if you let me."

The older boy laughs again, knowing that Hyuck would never hurt anyone but he appreciates it. He's glad to know that someone cares about him this much.

"I'll let Jeno know that you'll join us."

***

Few days later, Jeno drags  sleepy Renjun out of his room, the older boy still basically napping. However, he wakes up immediately after he hear Jaemin chuckle. His eyes widen at the sight of the younger boy, his cheeks turning red.

"We'll leaving soon, Jun," Jeno reminds him gently. Renjun nods, rubbing his eyes sleepily and then walks to the couch where he left his clothes that he was planning on wearing tonight.

Jaemin is also sitting on the couch and smiles warmly at the oldest boy, cheeks faintly tainted pink. Renjun doesn't smile back, grabs the clothes and turns on his heel to walk back into his room to change when Jaemin grabs his wrist, making him look at him.

"I.... I didn't know what to get you," he admits and Renjun snorts.

"I don't want anything from you."

"I figured. That didn't stop me though. I got you this." he hands him a small box. "Please,even if you don't like it,wear it tonight, it'd mean a lot to me," he says when Renjun takes the box from him. The older only nods and takes it with the rest of his clothes to his room. Once he's there, he opens the box and finds a bracelet. A simple gold band, nothing fancy, but Renjun recognizes it right away. Jaemin is wearing the same one, only silver. His heart starts beating faster when he realizes that Jaemin bought them matching bracelets. Not for him and Jeno, but for him and _Renjun._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a warning, this chapter is a mess. I'm not really sure what I was on while writing this. maybe sleep deprivation or too much caffeine, but it is a mess. If you like it either way, you know the drill. Comments and kudos mean so much to me.

Soon enough, he steps out, wearing probably the nicest clothes he owns and the bracelet Jaemin gave him. Weirdly enough, he got the size right, the cold metal fitting nicely around his wrist, not too tight and not too lose either. When the younger boy sees that he's actually wearing the present from him, his face lights up and he smiles warmly at Renjun whose face turns pink, he can feel it. If Jaemin notices, he doesn't comment on it, luckily.

Jeno compliments his outfit, Jaemin nodding as if it's okay, as if  he can compliment Renjun too, anden the bell rings. Renjun smiles brightly, for the first time that day.  "That's Hyuck!"

Jaemin frowns. "Hyuck?"

"Yeah,  I didn't tell you," Jeno explains quickly. "Renjun's friend is joining us for the dinner tonight." Jaemin's smile falls but Renjun tries not to think about it as he opens the door. Donghyuck falls into his arms, shouting  _happy birthday_  into his ear, and Renjun giggles,hopping around with his best friend, hugging him tightly. Jaemin clears his throat and Donghyuck pulls away, looking in their direction. He freezes once he turns around and the Chinese thinks it's because he finally meets Jaemin,  _the_ Jaemin, but as soon as he sees his face, he knows that that's not the case. He wants to ask what happened but he doesn't get the chance as Jaemin speaks up, telling him that they should hurry up if they want to make it in time. Renjun nods, grabbing his wallet and phone, when he notices Jeno staring at Donghyuck, a small smile on his lips. He clears his throat, mentally yelling at himself for being stupid, and starts introducing them to each other. "Oh god, I'm sorry, Jeno, this is Donghyuck, my best friend. Hyuck, this is Jeno, my roommate and best friend."

Much to his surprise, Jeno steps forward and pulls Donghyuck into a hug. Jaemin walks past Renjun, bumping into him, obviously upset. Renjun feels awkward. Jaemin is jealous. Because Jeno is hugging Donghyuck. For some reason, it hurts him a little.

"Guys?" He clears his throat and Donghyuck steps away from Jeno whose cheeks are colored an adorable shade of pink. Is it because he mentioned Jaemin storming out and is embarrassed? Or is it because Donghyuck looks simply stunning in those clothes?   
He quickly gets those thoughts out of his head, that's stupid. Even if he liked Donghyuck's outfit, he would never react to it, or to him, like that, because he's head over heels in love with Jaemin. And oh god, Renjun can relate.

They all squish into Jeno's small car and off they go.  
Jeno chose this really nice place with all kinds of food, mainly american, and Renjun really likes the atmosphere there. They have a reservation, so the table is ready for them. Jeno sits next to Jaemin, Hyuck on the opposite site with Renjun next to him, facing Jaemin. Thankfully, as if Donghyuck knows, as if he can tell that Renjun is uncomfortable, he makes him pay attention to him, even taking it to the extreme of feeding him when they get ther food.

For few short minutes, Renjun lets himself go, lets himself enjoy the night, the food and the awfully bad jokes Jeno is making. He notices Donghyuck looking at his best friend as if he's the most precious thing in the world and his chest clenches a little. He should talk about it with him later.

They order desserts and Renjun looks at Jaemin who's staring down on his hands in his lap. He's not smiling and actually looks sad. The Chinese frowns, now fully aware that Jaemin hasn't been talking at all during the dinner and that they unintentionally excluded him from the conversation.

He clears his throat. "How's the art project going?" He asks him. "Taeyong told me you've been working really hard on it."

Jaemin looks up, looking surprised that Renjun is even talking to him. And yes, the older of the two is an ass but he can tell that Jaemin feels left out and he himself knows how much that sucks.

"It's... It's okay. Almost done," he replies quietly. "You know Taeyong?"

Renjun nods but doesn't say how. He doesn't really want to talk about it. He stopped talking to Mark but he got close with Taeyong.   
"Good luck with the rest of the project," he smiles at the boy and Jaemin blushes.   
Suddenly, Hyuck taps his shoulder and Renjun turns away from Jaemin, feeling weirdly warm inside.

Donghyuck hands him a gift bag and Renjun scrunches up his nose. He hoped Hyuck wouldn't get him anything. He's really not good at recieving gifts. He feels like his reaction is never good enough. Even if he loves his gift, he can't express it.

"You didn't have to," he sighs, taking the bag, hesitant.

"I wanted to," Donghyuck shruggs and chuckles. Underneath all that tissue paper was a Supreme fanny pack that Renjun has been eyeing for weeks. He doesn't remember mentioning it to Donghyuck though.

"How did you know?" He cries out, pressing the fanny pack to his chest. "I love it, I've been wanting it for so long!"

Donghyuck smiles. "I'm your soulmate, I know these things."

Renjun can see Jaemin going tense from his peripheral vision and he bites his lip. "That you are, Hyuck. Thank you." He hugs him and the younger boy presses a quick kiss on Renjun's forehead. It's something that feels natural for them and he's never seen anything more in it.   
They're probably the only ones because Jeno is staring at them, almost glaring. And Jaemin stands up and with mumbled "excuse me" he walks away, probably to find the toilets. So maybe it wasn't because of them, maybe it's just Renjun's wishful thinking, it might be all just because of Jaemin's bladder and he's just hoping that he got upset.

Jeno sighs, rubs his temples, and then gets up, probably to find his boyfriend. As soon as he far enough, Donghyuck turns to look at Renjun, his eyes suddenly wide. "Junnie.."

"What's wrong?"

Donghyuck rubs his face with both palms, seeming frustrated. "Remember when I told you about the boy I met? My... _soulmate_? The guy I'm basically in love with already?"

Renjun nods, not understanding why is Donghyuck bringing it up now.

"It's Jeno," he says, quickly looking around. "I recognized him the moment I saw him at your place."

That would explain a lot, Renjun thinks as he replays the scene from their "first" meeting. That's why Jeno pulled him in a hug, they know each other already, kind of.

But that also means that the boy Donghyuck cares so much about is his best friend, his _taken_ best friend. As if things didn't suck enough already.

Hyuck bites his lip. "Say something, please. Are you mad?"

Renjun almost starts laughing. "Mad? I have no reason. But you do realize that you like someone who's in a relationship, right?"

"Yeah, with someone you like and want for yourself!" the younger boy exclaims.

"I'm not getting between them just so you can 'be there for Jeno' and get into his pants!" Renjun hisses. "No matter  how much I like Jaemin and you like him, I'm not ruining their relationship, it's not worthy. If you want to get him, you need to do that yourself!" With that, he pushes his chair away from the table and stands up. "I'm gonna look for them, I want to go home." Donghyuck tries to grab his hand but Renjun shakes him off. "I don't think you understand how much Jeno means to me.  I'm not making him unhappy, not for myself, not for you. I'm sorry."

He looks around, looking for the restrooms, when he finally sees the door. He walks over there, around the corner, only to freeze in place as he finds Jeno agressively making out with Jaemin, having him pressed against the wall. Then he pulls away slightly, their lips still touching.   
"I love you," Jaemin whispers, soft, but loud enough for Renjun to hear.  Renjun's chest feels like it's going to explode and he takes few steps back, trying to blink away the tears that threaten to fall down his face. He quicky walks back to their table and Donghyuck's expression changes as soon as he sees his friend and his eyes watering. He doesn't ask when Renjun grabs his jacket, fishes out his phone and he's about to call Jeno just so he doesn't have to go there again when they appear back.

"You're leaving?" Jeno asks, obviously confused and worried.

"Yeah. I'm staying at Donghyuck's for a while," he says and Hyuck nods as if that was the plan all along. Jaemin frowns at him, questions in his eyes, it makes Renjun to look away. He can't do this. They love each other, he has no place in their relationship. He needs to get away from them so he can get over Jaemin.

He takes out his wallet but Jeno slaps his hand. "Don't. It's my gift to you." He almost sounds desperate. Renjun can imagine that he is. Poor boy doesn't even know what's happening, what's going on.  
Hyuck suggests splitting the bill between the two of them, because it wouldn't be fair if Jeno payed for it all, which is basically just an excuse for Hyuck to say "you can buy me dinner some other time and we'll be even" even though Jaemin is _right there._

"Injun?" Jaemin speaks up quietly, putting his hand on the Chine boy's shoulder as the other two pay for their meals. Renjun takes a step back, ignoring the hurt expression on Jaemin's face.

"Don't," he shakes his head. "Don't you dare."

***

It's been a month, Renjun notices as he unlocks his phone to check the time. It's Jeno's birthday. He sends him a happy birthday text and yawns. Huyck is long gone, his classes started ages ago, so the house is quiet. He likes it here, he realizes. But he misses his own bed. Sharing with Donghyuck is not bad per say, it's just different and somehow difficult, because the other boy just always pushes Renjun to the edge. But he likes it. It could have been way worse. He's glad that Donghyuck took him, that he didn't get mad after what he had told him during the dinner.

His phone buzzes.

**From: Lee Jeno  
** _Meet me today? Please, Renjun? Take that as my birthday gift from you to me, if nothing else._

which is exactly Rejun didn't want to happen. He can't face Jeno after everything that has happened in the past several months, mainly because he hasn't gotten over Jaemin at all, if anything, he only misses him, more and more each day. But he also misses Jeno  which is why he decides to show up, to meet him and talk to him, even if it'll be awkward as hell because there's not way it won't.

Few hours later, after Renjun's classes, they're sitting in the café Mark works at, but he's fortunately not there. They have an awkward small talk, Renjun buys them coffee and then they just sit and stare at each other.

"When are you coming home?" Jeno asks and Renjun's heart skips a beat at the word _home._ It's been a while since he thought of that place as his home.

"I don't think I am coming back," he admits, which is true because he has been looking for his own place. He can't stay at Donghyuck's house forever even though Hyuck is completely okay with it. "At least any time soon," he adds quickly when he notices Jeno's face.

"I miss you," the younger boy says. "I know that lot of things have changed in the past few months, but you're still my friend and I love you and I miss you. It's weird to come home and find the place empty."

Renjun sighs. It's been weird for him too. They were so used to each other back then.

There's another moment of silence but it's not awkward anymore, sad if anything. Then Jeno speaks up again. "I broke up with Jaemin."

Renjun shoots his head up, eyes wide. "What?"

"We're still friends, don't worry," he smiles, still somewhat sad. "We just... weren't good for each other. I didn't love him the way I should've and he didn't love me the way I hoped he would... " he bites his lip before continuing. "I'm seeing Donghyuck now. We're not... dating. But I like spending time with him. No matter what we do, I like it, I enjoy it. It's nice."

Renjun is kind of mad that Donghyuck didn't tell him but he understands. After everything they've been through, it's more than understandable.

"Are you happy now?" Renjun asks. That's all he cares about at this moment. Jeno nods.

"I am. But I miss you. Come home Renjun."

He can't promise anything and Jeno knows. He takes Renjun's hand and runs his finger along the gold bracelet he's wearing. "Talk to him. I'm sure you have plenty to say."

***

He fishes out the keys to Donghyuck place as he walks towards the house. The weather is really nice nowadays and he's glad that he's able to go outside only in a hoodie, without worrying about being cold. Spring is here, stronger than ever and he loves it.

As he gets closer to the front door, he notices the figure standing there. At first he thinks it's Hyuck and wants to laugh at him because of course, he locked himself out _again._ But as he takes few steps forward, his breath hitches. It's not Donghyuck.

"I asked him for the address, don't worry, I didn't stalk you," Jaemin says as soon as he notices him. Renjun chuckles.

"Hard to believe."

Jaemin smiles a little. "Renjun-"

"Let's talk later," he interrupts him, walking closer until he's pressed chest to chest to him. "We've waited long enough, few more minutes won't kill us."

Jaemin looks down on his lips, then back up into his eyes. "Are you going to kiss me?"

Renjun doesn't answer, just smiles, their faces an inch apart.

"Kiss me."

So he does.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere in the world, it's already February 14.  
> Valentine's day.  
> This is my (crappy) valentine gift for you.

After such a long time of waiting for this, the last thing Jaemin wants is to stop kissing Renjun. He wraps himself around the smaller boy as much as he can and groans disapprovingly when the older tries to push him away.

"Let's go inside," Renjun chuckles against his lips, struggling to unlock the door with the other boy clinging to him, showering his face with kisses. As soon they're inside, he's pressed against the door, Jaemin's cold palm against his hot cheek, their lips connected again.

"We need to talk," Renjun protests and Jaemin's hand travel further to the back of his head, playing with his hair.

"You said it could wait," the younger whines and pouts, pulling away none the less. Obviously,he's aware that they should talk, too.  Renjun takes his hand and leads him into the living room and pulls him down next to him onto the couch. But Jaemin is having none of that, he tugs on Renjun's sleeve and drags him into his lap, his hands firm on the older boy's hips. Renjun feels himself blush and hides his face in Jaemin's shoulder.

"Ok, talk," the taller boy chuckles, drawing circles into Renjun's skin with his thumbs.

"I don't know where to start," the Chinese admits, shyly wrapping his arms around Jaemin's torso. "There is so much that happened and it still confuses me." He takes a deep breath and sits up straight. Jaemin is looking up at him with so much adoration in his eyes that it makes Renjun's chest hurt. Oh my god he loves the boy so much.

"I don't believe in soulmates. At all." he speaks up after a while. "I don't belive that there is someone who is born just for you, that there is someone who is your _other half,_ who completes you. But I do believe we're good for each other." He looks Jaemin into his eyes. "I do believe we can be good for each other. That we can be something. I don't care if you believe in soulmates or whatnot, as long as you love me and only me."

Jaemin smiles. "Possessive?" but he grabs Renjun by the collar of his shirt and pulls him closer. "I'm yours. Have been for a while, actually."

Which just reminds Renjun what he wanted to ask. "Why did you break up with Jeno?"

It's not like he has to know, Jeno told him enough, but he's still curious. Last time he saw them, they were making out and declaring love to each other. So he's a little confused.  
But by the look on Jaemin's face it's more than clear that it's not something he wants to talk about. And Renjun heard Jeno's story so he could be content with that...but he isn't.

"You don't have to tell me-"

"I tried to love him," Jaemin says. "The night of your birthday, I tried so hard to fall for him. Because I realized, that night, that I was desperately in love with you. From the moment I saw you with the bracelet on your wrist-" he takes Renjun's hand and  traces his finger along the edge of said jewelry, "-I knew that I want to be with you, that's it's you who has my entire heart and that it can't be anyone else. And then I saw how happy you were around Donghyuck and how comfortable you were with him... i got so jealous that I just... I made out with Jeno, in the damn restaurant, to prove myself that I like Jeno and that I don't need you."

It suddenly makes so much more sense and Renjun feels a little ashamed for storming off like that that night.

"And then you moved here and Jeno and I started arguing a lot. I knew that he doesn't feel what I thought he would. And I didn't feel that way either. We broke up on good terms, we're still friends. And he's so much happier now." His eyes look sad and Renjun sighs and kisses the corner of Jaemin's mouth.

"Well, you are too, aren't you? At least you know what you want, you're not confused about your own feelings anymore."

Jaemin nods and pulls Renjun in for a proper kiss. It's just as breathtaking as the first one. Maybe even more. Renjun's feels everything way more intensely as he's seated on Jaemin's lap and the closeness almost makes him blush. He wants to pull away, but Jaemin doesn't let him, pressing himself even closer to the older boy, their chests squished together, their heartbeats almost synchronized. Renjun gasps as he feels the cold hand on his hip caress the skin under his shirt and Jaemin takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, claiming the shorter boy's mouth hungrily.

And as if it's some sort of cringy, predictible fanfiction and not a real life, the door to the living room opens just as Renjun bites Jaemin's neck. Both of them sit up straight, looking at the intruder, who is actually an owner of the house they're in.

Donghyuck has this shit-eating grin on his face and Renjun kind of wants to punch him but he's also grateful that he came in because god knows what they would end up doing. Renjun doesn't want to fuck this up, not with Jaemin.

"I hope I didn't interrupt you," Donghyuck says in such a sweet voice, as if he doesn't know. Jaemin smiles at him.

"Of course not." He pats Renjun's butt so that the older boy gets up. "We were just about to leave, weren't we baby?"

Renjun blushes at the petname but nods, grabbing Jaemin's hand. Donghyuck waves at them as they leave and then Jaemin closes the door.

"I don't know where are we going but wherever it is, I need to go back soon, I have stuff to pack."

"You're moving back to Jeno?" the taller boy asks and Renjun shakes his head.

"No. I found a place though. It's not super expensive and I think I can afford it now, because I got a better part time job."

Jaemin smiles at him, it makes Renjun's inside go all warm and gooey. "Well, I happen to look for a place too. So..."

Renjun stops in his tracks. "I ...I don't know Jaemin. We're not... are we even officially together? I mean... I do like you and all but...isn't too soon to live together?"

"Think of me just as a roommate then. I'm not moving in with you, I'm just moving into the same place as you. If it's two bedroom apartment, that is."

Renjun nods. It is. It's actually more affordable than few of the one bedroom apartments he went to look at. Jaemin beams.

"Great!" then frowns. "Unless you really don't want me there. I don't want to pressure you into anything, I swear. But I already lost so much time running away from my feelings for you, I don't wanna lose any more time not being with you."

The older rolls his eyes.  Jaemin is such a sap.

"I'll think about it, Romeo."

****

The summer is extremely hot this year, Jaemin notices as he puts down the last box of his clothes. He's never really noticed just how much stuff he owns until he had to move it.

"You look gross." Renjun comments from the balcony, where he's watering the plants. "Take a shower."

"Well I wouldn't be gross if I moved in ages ago," Jaemin shrugs and instead of going to the bathroom, he walks straight up to Renjun to hug him, still sweaty and all.

Renjun shrieks and tries to push him off, to no avail, Jaemin doesn't move an inch. "Take a shower with me," he whispers and then _he_ shrieks when Renjun pours the water, that he had for the plants, on him.

"Hell no. I have stuff to do. And so do you. We can spend forever in the bathroom."

Knowing that it's pointless to argue with him, Jaemin nods and grabs a clean towel, then disappears in the bathroom. It took Renjun three months to finally agree on living with Jaemin. Has he been testing him? Their relationship? Not that Jaemin really cares because he's finally here, with his boyfriend, and things are looking pretty great.  Taeyong got him a job in the art gallery so now he doesn't have to worry too much about money, he has a nice place to live in and he's incredibly in love with Renjun.

He also got a lot closer with Donghyuck and they're sort of best friends now. Renjun describes their friendship as the one of Tom and Jerry but Jaemin disagrees, they're not trying to kill one another, not just yet.

He showers quickly and when he gets out of the tub, he realizes that he didn't take any clothes with him. Sighing, he wraps the towel that he had for his hair around his waist and goes into the living room to find something to wear. Most of his clothes are still in he boxes.

"Na Jaemin,I will punch you, why didn't you dry-" Renjun stops talking as soon as he sees his boyfriend and what he's wearing - or rather _not wearing._ "There's water everywhere," he says, quiet, cheeks painted adorably red. Jaemin points to his head.

"Didn't dry my hair, sorry."

Renjun only nods but doesn't look away, even though he blushes harder and harder each minute. Jaemin think it's cute.  Well he thinks that everything Renjun does is cute.

"Ji-" He clears his throat and tries again. "Jisung and Chenle are coming soon. Jisung apparently has something to show you."

Jaemin nods and smirks when Renjun doesn't look away as he starts dressing up.  "When are you leaving to work?"

"In few minutes, actually. I should be home pretty early tonight. There's a bachelorette party later and I won't be needed for that, thank god," he giggles and Jaemin has probably never heard anything cuter.

"Okay," now fully dressed, he steps closer to his short boyfriend and kisses him on the forehead. "I'll wait for you then."

There's a promise of something more, unsaid but clear. It doesn't have to be anything extreme, cuddles would be nice, and Jaemin wants Renjun to know that. From the look on his face, he's pretty sure Renjun does know. So he smiles.

"Yeah..yeah okay. I'm....I'm going to go now. To work." he gets all flushed again and Jaemin pulls him in for the last time, kissing him on the mouth. It's chaste, innocent, but it still leaves Jaemin breathless. Or maybe he's just in too deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end? I guess? For now? Thank you all so much for reading and supporting this story. It means so so much to me and I will be forever grateful.

**Author's Note:**

> You can talk to me on insta,if you wanna @you_meishi ^^


End file.
